“Life is our choice, but…”
By CARE
By Sokunthy Heng.
Have you ever asked yourself what you need the most in your life? How to make your life a meaningful one?
Group of gays on a stage. Christopher Street Day in Bonn. (Foto: Sokunthy Heng)
“Life is our choice.” This is what my friend always reminds me. To her, it simply means we should do whatever we think is right and that makes us happy without upsetting other people’s lives.
Whenever she uses that phrase to me, she looks very strong and firm. Later she appears to be soft as she herself cannot do what she wants like me because we have grown up in Cambodian society which differs from European societies. For instance, in Cambodia, there is a growing number of entertaining spots such as pubs, bars or dancing clubs. My friend and I have thought of going and experiencing once. However, we have never done that and we have to abandon our desire because going to clubs or bars is not what Cambodian society expects women to do.
Nonetheless, my friend and I are luckier than million gay and lesbian people around the world. They have been fighting with the stigma and discrimination of the society they are living just to obtain rights for their lives that they are supposed to have as human beings like us.
A colourful party in Bonn
Last Saturday, while I was waiting for my friend in the town of Bonn, a man’s voice echoed through loud speakers behind my back. I turned around to see what happened. Getting through a rather crowded audience of around 100 people, I realized that the male voice belonged to a female-dressed presenter with big glasses on a stage under the summer sun of Bonn. Among many smiling audiences which most of them were in middle age, the presenter was articulating in German language which I did not understand at all. After interviewing Eric, a German guy from LSVD organisation, I knew that it was the annual event of gays and lesbians called “Christopher Street Day”. The event is celebrated differently from city to city. In Bonn, it took a whole afternoon playing with music and singing.Eric said that though gays and lesbians could get a so-called same-sex partnership, but they needed to pay more tax than heterosexual couple. Discrimination towards them still remained, said he.
What is different in Cambodia?
As there is no law mentioned against or in favor of the presence of Cambodian gays and lesbians, their acts are not illegal. However, they are under societal pressure of a so-called hidden law: discrimination
Compared to Germany, they are not as open as in Germany that they can kiss along the streets, enjoy gay pubs, for example. This is because Cambodian society does not accept homosexuality. When talking about gays, people often use the word “ktuey”, which is not meant in a friendly way. From what I have observed, while they are walking in the public places, Cambodian gays and lesbians are usually teased especially by young men. Those young men say, “Where do you go, honey?” or if they are not teased with words, they will be gazed until they disappear from the streets.
Although our former king Norodom Sihanouk announced his agreement on homosexual marriage three years ago, there is no amendment to Cambodian law. Sok Sam Oeun, executive director of Cambodian Defenders Project said that they [gays and lesbians] could live together, but they could not obtain marriage certificate as there was no law. While Cambodia tax system had not yet been operated well, what they had to confront was mainly discrimination of their neighborhoods.
Among seven Cambodia television channels, there is only Bayon channel allowing a gay to talk about himself in a weekly show called “Don’t laugh at me.” They raise about their backgrounds of being gays. As an audience, I notice that the discrimination towards them weighs much in the content of discussion. Not only their neighbours do not accept them, but also do their parents. As a result, most of them decide to flee out of that environment.
Should we ignore?
In Cambodia, out of 2.6 percent of HIV prevalence rate among young adults aged 15 to 49 in 2002, men who have sex with men (MSM) accounts for 14 percent who were HIV infected.*1While gays are at such a high risk, they are usually left behind. According to a paper conducted by CARE Cambodia on awareness of HIV/AIDS among MSM, a MSM says that:“I lie to them [pharmacy] and say that I am buying them [condoms] for a woman, because someone might think that I’m ktuey person coming to buy for someone else [male client].” *2I believe that if we still do not value their presence, we seem to put those in higher risk of physical and emotional damage. *1: Der Begriff “Men who have Sex with Men” wird bei offiziellen Schätzungen statt „Homosexuell“ verwendet, weil er auch diejenigen Männer umfasst, die sich selbst nicht als schwul bezeichnet.*2: Braiden Abala, Kim Green and Ian Ramage (2003). Through The Eyes of Men. CARE Cambodia.
Yours sincerely,
Kunthy
Tags: AIDS, Cambodia, Cambodian Diary, Homosexuality
January 23rd, 2012 at 03:34
Was obviously a fantastic read and intensely valuable. More plz?!|